This chapter provides the lists of things you are going to need for the various appointments and visits you and your partner are going to have during the different treatments as well as things that will be useful to have at home. I’ve not included medication in any of the lists so bear in mind they will need to be included for any hospital stays. We found it best to keep Jen’s meds in a sealed plastic food container. This made them portable while keeping them protected from the elements.
Each list is completely stand alone, so there is duplication between lists. This means you only need to look at the appointment you’re attending for a list of the things you’re likely to need. Bear in mind that some of the items will relate to both of you – like food and entertainment. It’s no good your partner having some cool sounds and a first person shooter if you’re sitting there bored out of your mind. Also consider that you are likely to need entertainment more than your partner – at least, for the parts where scans and such are involved, though I recommend you watch any heart valve scans as they are truly fascinating.
Jen and I also kept a ‘bug out’ bag on standby for emergency hospital visits. We used it three times in total, each time during chemotherapy when Jen spiked a temperature. For the most part it lived in the boot of the car when we were at home and travelled with us everywhere. It was invaluable because it allowed us to focus on getting Jen to hospital rather than running around trying to figure out what we needed to take.
The core goal of these lists is to achieve the following for both you and your partner:
Comfort
Sustenance
Refreshment
Entertainment
Information/Communication
I aimed to make this chapter as simple as possible as I think it speaks for itself but I’ve added notes where I think clarity is needed. Some of this stuff you’ll already have, some you’ll need to go out and buy. Obviously you can tweak the lists as you see fit and based on your own personal wants and needs but it should take most of the heavy lifting out of the thought process for you. I genuinely hope it helps.
Oh, and don’t forget on the day: Keys, Purse, Wallet, Phone, Medication, Treatment Folder 🙂
Stationery
Notepads
Pens
Folder with 40-50 polythene sleeves (treatment folder)
2-3 plastic document wallets
We took Jen’s treatment folder – basically every piece of paper we were given as we went along – to every appointment. That way, if someone asked a question about Jen’s treatment that we didn’t know the answer to (some of the drug names are complex and confusing) we’d have the answer to hand. Towards the end of treatment we didn’t need to refer to it at all because we pretty much knew the whole thing by heart. It became a thing of comfort, strangely. Anyway, it’s worth keeping everything together.
Logistics
Cool bag (for day-long chemo sessions and day visits to hospital)
Reusable drink bottles – insulated ideally. We used vacuum insulated bottles that keep drinks cold for 24 hours.
Flask(s) or insulated mug(s)
Comfortable shoulder bag/rucksack – something you can carry while keeping your arms free
Medical equipment
Alcohol hand gel
Latex or Nitrile surgical gloves
Surgical wipes
The alcohol gel proved useful when I was giving Jen her injections but also when we were out and about during Jen’s chemotherapy as she needed to be protected from infection. The gloves and surgical wipes were used for dressing changes.
Software
Calendar app
Notes app
Camera app
Journal app
Reminder app
Communication app (email & messenger)
Jen and I have android devices in the main, so I setup a new Gmail account, which we both had access to, and added them to our phones and tablets. This allowed us to share Google Calendar, Google Keep (reminder/list app) as well as the Journal app ‘Journey’. I can’t advise if something similar can be done with Apple or Windows devices, but I’d be very surprised if it can’t. The most important app for us was Calendar so if all else fails, you will definitely be able to share that, even if it’s via web browser. Google’s Calendar and Keep apps are both available as plugins for the Chrome and Firefox browsers.
Hardware (Info/Entertainment/Comms)
Phone
Tablet
Laptop
PC
Digital camera
Obviously you don’t need to go out and buy a tablet, laptop or PC if you don’t have one. I mention them as they are very useful tools for staying organised, doing research and capturing information and therefore should definitely be used if you have them. I do recommend that you each have a decent smartphone though as they can provide information, entertainment and communications in the one package, not to mention a digital camera. The camera is as much for capturing the healing process as well as the good times you have together – I promise you will still have them.
Comfort
Lip balm
Fragrance free moisturiser
Fragrance free shampoo
Fragrance free conditioner
Fragrance free body wash
Boiled sweets/Lollipops
Mints
Iced Lollies (non-dairy)
Lucozade (or similar energy drinks)
Chilled water
Iglu mouth ulcer gel
Oragel
Over the counter sleep aid (discuss with doctor/oncologist)
Ear plugs
Eye mask
Sanitary towels
Baby wipes
IMPORTANT: Medications, skin creams, sprays, drinks (anything going in or on your partner’s body, basically) should be discussed with your oncologist, surgeon and radiologist (as appropriate) to ensure they won’t interact adversely with any of your partner’s treatments. Also, try to get cleansing products free from sulphates and parabens, as well as aluminium and titanium compounds.
Length of stay and appointment types
Short stay:
Oncologist/Consultant/Surgeon
Blood test
Radiotherapy
Clinics – post-surgery check ups/dressing changes
Physiotherapy
Occupational Therapy
Mammogram
Ultrasound
Biopsy
CT Scan
Bone Scan
Heart Valve Scan
X-ray
Medium stay:
Chemotherapy
Long stay:
Surgery
Emergency hospital visits
Short stay
Don’t forget on the day: Keys, Purse, Wallet, Phone, Medication, Treatment Folder
Information
Pen
Notepad
Sustenance
Boiled sweets/Lollipops/Chews
Sandwiches
Cereal bars
Healthy crisps
Fresh fruit
Refreshment
Bottled water/energy drinks
Entertainment
Book
Magazine
Puzzle book
Tablet & charger with long USB cable
Earphones for Music/Media
Music
Media
Phone charger
Small personal fan
Small alcohol gel
Lip balm
Fragrance free moisturiser
Medium stay
Don’t forget on the day: Keys, Purse, Wallet, Phone, Medication, Treatment Folder
Information
Pen
Notepad
Sustenance
Boiled sweets/Lollipops/Chews
Sandwiches
Cereal bars
Healthy crisps
Fresh fruit
Refreshment
Bottled water/energy drinks
Entertainment
Book
Magazine
Puzzle book
Tablet & charger with long USB cable
Earphones for Music/Media
Music
Media
Phone charger
Small personal fan
Small alcohol gel
Lip balm
Fragrance free moisturiser
Planned hospital visit (Long stay)
Don’t forget on the day: Keys, Purse, Wallet, Phone, Medication, Treatment Folder
Comfort
Pyjamas
Light dressing gown
Bed socks
Small soft blanket (microfibre)
Earplugs
Eye cover sleep mask
Soft beanie hat
Slippers
Small personal fan
Tissues
Toothbrush
Toothpaste
Deodorant
Sanitary towels
Moisturiser
Face cleanser
Face cloth
Small alcohol gel
Baby wipes
Lip balm
Fragrance free moisturiser
Iglu mouth ulcer gel
Oragel
Over the counter sleep aid (discuss with doctor/oncologist)
2-3 small plastic bags for wet/dirty items
Clean clothes (comfy, loose fitting) for discharge
Trousers
T-shirt
Knickers x 2
Bra *
Socks x 2
Light shoes/plimsolls
Cardigan/Hoodie
Information
Pen
Notepad
Sustenance
Boiled sweets/Lollipops/Chews
Crackers
Cereal bars
Healthy crisps
Dried fruit
Refreshment
Bottled water/energy drinks
Entertainment
Book
Magazine
Puzzle book
Tablet & charger with long USB cable
Earphones for Music/Media
Music
Media
Phone charger
* Speak to your consultant/surgeon if any special clothing is needed for discharge. For example, consider if you have the appropriate bra – eg, unwired front loader – and that it will fit as required (your partner’s breast(s) may not be the same size, post surgery). Also think about whether your partner will need a front opening top as she may not be able to raise her arms above her head.
It’s also worth trying to get a rough estimate on how long your partner is going to be staying in hospital so you can pack the right amount of underwear.
Emergency Hospital Visit (Bug Out Bag – Long stay)
– Note this is all stuff for your partner
Don’t forget on the day: Keys, Purse, Wallet, Phone, Medication, Treatment Folder
Comfort
Pyjamas
Light dressing gown
Bed socks
Small soft blanket (microfibre)
Earplugs
Eye cover sleep mask
Soft beanie hat
Slippers
Small personal fan
Tissues
Toothbrush
Toothpaste
Deodorant
Sanitary towels
Moisturiser
Face cleanser
Face cloth
Small alcohol gel
Baby wipes
2-3 small plastic bags for wet/dirty items
Clean clothes (comfy, loose fitting) for discharge
Trousers
T-shirt
Knickers x 2
Bra
Socks x 2
Light shoes/plimsolls
Cardigan/Hoodie
Sustenance
Boiled sweets/Lollipops/Chews
Crackers
Cereal bars
Healthy crisps
Dried fruit
Refreshment
Bottled water/energy drinks
Entertainment
Book (for reading)
Magazine(s)
Puzzle book
Tablet & charger with long USB cable
Earphones for Music/Media
Music
Media
Phone charger
Information
Pen
Notepad